When coaches get together they talk about the problems involved running a high school lacrosse program. When I was the coach of the WVU team and editor of the National College Lacrosse League's website, I began collecting the "excuses" my players used for missing practices or games. Some were so funny I published them on the site to let everyone know that our problems are universal.
Coaches, send me your best. I
will post the excuse
and the school it came from. Do not send the player's name. We do not need
to advertise his personal ability to B.S.
I will not post the name of the school if you ask me not to. I will start with
an edited list from the old NCLL site. Enjoy. - Editor
I have to leave practice early because...
1. "I have a hair
appointment." University High
I can't make practice because...
1. High schooler: "Coach, I can't make it to practice tomorrow
'cause my mom can't pick me up from school to drive me to practice."
Coach: " Son, your school is less than a mile from the field."
High schooler: "Yeah, I guess I could walk."
Coach: " No son, you will run! All the @#%&*! way!"
2.. "I have to go on a hay ride with my girlfriend." (Player referring to hay ride with girl friend's sorority) West Virginia
3.. "I have a tanning appointment." West Virginia Women's
4. "I got hit in the face last night with a frozen smoked hog jowl." Penn State
5. "I was watching 'Star Wars'." Allegheny College
6. "I'm going to Florida." (a week after spring break). Kent State
7. "I'm going to the hockey game because the Flyers are my favorite team."
Duquesne
8. "Hey coach, I can't practice today, I just got my nipple pierced."
9. "Coach, I can scrimmage but I'm not supposed to run laps."
10. "I can't practice today because my dog ate my cup." (Producing what is obviously the remains of a cup destroyed by a dog!)
11. "I can't make the game because my probation officer says I can't cross state lines."
12. Player: "Coach, I couldn't come to practice
because I had dodge ball practice!"
Coach: Throws ball at him and he
doesn't move... "You better stick to lacrosse!" - Trinity High
I can't make the game this weekend because...
1. "My fraternity is throwing a party and I'm 'Party Chairman' so I have to be there." West Virginia
2. "I have a ticket to the Sheryl Crow concert." Penn State
I missed the game this weekend because...
1. "I fell asleep while on the internet and couldn't receive phone calls." Kent State
You even have team excuses...
1. We didn't know the playoffs were this weekend, AND we have finals, AND we can't get enough guys for away games. East Carolina